Diecinueve Feet of Paper

          Diecinueve Feet of Paper


     From the balcony, I could see that Sandra and Sudie had joined the guys for brunch. Both ladies looked well, but Sandra, especially, was easy to spot. In fact, she illuminated perfect health and looked fabulous in her new bikini – no cover for her… The suit she wore shimmered pink-silver-gold and blended exquisitely against her light, mocha skin, and when she walked, all eyes turned. “How does that woman eat so much and still maintain that Barbie doll figure?”

     “Ah. You’re talking about Sandra.”


     Patsy peaked around the Bamboo screen. “It’s me…I think.”

     “Oh, you have color in your cheeks!” I said. “I’m going down to the pool. Would you like to join me? Sunshine is always a good thing.”

     “I’m feeling better, but I’m not ready to make the big reveal.”

     “The what?”

     “My new body. I think I have lost five pounds, at least. Still lazy though… I’m surprised Cecil has enough energy to hangout with the guys. Can you hear him laughing? I’ll bet he ordered beer with his breakfast.”

I took another peak out the window. “No doubt about that.” I said. “Empties are already stacking up.”

Patsy walked to the window and moved the curtain aside. “Last night, Cecil and the night clerk managed to scurry up a prescription  – more long distance phone calls to Uncle Jack – and some Soothing ointment, too.” I didn’t ask… “Cecil wanted to depart for Mexico City today, but I didn’t want to leave everyone behind. Would you mind, Peri, if we all left a day early? I’ll be fine by tomorrow. The last thing I want to do is get on a bus feeling like this.”

“Tomorrow will be fine. I’m going to the pool. Like I said, sunshine is good. Why don’t you come down with me?” Patsy put her hand under her Viva Mexico! T-shirt and rubbed her belly.

“Give me another hour.” Patsy said. “If you don’t see me, come check. I may need some more convincing.”

“Is there anything that I can do for you before I go?” Patsy slowly turned, and walking like a woman who had just given birth, disappeared behind the divider. “I have plenty of water, bottled, some Pepsi, Panera, and Sandra brought me some of that Grape soda you and she drank. It helped her.” Patsy’s voice began to fade. “No. Not now. I don’t need anything. Check back in an hour.” I heard the door click, but it didn’t quite close.


The tropical feel was amazing and the pool water was warm. Joe was in his own world reading a newspaper at a table near the waterfall. Cecil, Juan, Luis and Sudie, had moved their party to the swim-up bar. I took a seat next to Sudie. “You don’t have to keep your seat under water.” She said.

“What?” I asked.

“Look,” Sudie said. It’s like an office chair. You can adjust it up and down.”

Cecil took a bite of his Eggs Ranchero, and pointing with his fork at Luis, said, “Hey dude. Be careful. I think your wife is going to fill your bakery with water. She likes the chairs.”

“Ha, ha.” Sudie responded. “But I do have an idea for cakes. I’m going to start promoting a theme and build parties around those themes. I’ll create specials and include discounts. My newest will be, Tropical Paradise. We’ll provide the decorations, dishes, everything. Why wait for holidays, birthdays, and weddings? From now on, we create our own party seasons.”

Luis ordered a Bloody Mary, and stirred the mixture with a carrot stick. “A toast to my wife and more income tax deductions!”

“Here, here.” Cheers were shared and glasses were lifted.

“Hey, another one.” Juan said. “To my exquisite wife, the Goddess of the Universe.”

Glasses and bottles clinked fivefold. “To the Goddess of the Universe!”

        Juan sat proud as a peacock. “Look at her man. Here she comes. Isn’t she something? Beautiful. Just beautiful. Even prettier than the day we got married.”

“Yeah, you’re wife is hot, but she’s trailing something.”

“She still looks good, Hombre.” Juan said lifting a brow. “Look at how she walks, dude. Wow. She knows that she looks good. Sometimes I can’t believe it. My wife. Long silky hair, a perfect 10 body, big brown eyes, – ”

“And she’s trailing something.”

“Poor Sandra.” I said. “I’m – “

“No, no. You’ll wreck the moment. I mean look at her. My wife. That suit. It fits perfectly, like it was made just for her body. She’s perfect. Everything she does is perfect. I mean, look at how graceful she moves. Everything shakes in all the right places.”

“No disagreements here, man,” Luis said, but – “

Juan turned to the bartender. “How many times you seen something like that?”

“I, ah, nunca  y–“

“Exactly. None of you ever seen a woman do that, and this guy here,” he said pointing to the bartender with his bottle of beer, “sees a lot of women from all over the world, everyday, all year long!”

“That’s true,” Cecil agreed.

“Yeah, you’re right, man. Luis said nodding, and turning to his wife. “Babe, I’m not taking anything away from you, but do you think you could forge a path like that in a bikini trailing some toilet paper?”

It was true. Sandra, unbeknownst to her, had managed tow a roll of pink toilet paper the distance of about nineteen feet, all the way from the ladies room, around tables, chairs, and even around the trunk of a full grown Memosa. Her jaunt continued through the food court to the edge of the pool where it finally broke loose just before she slinked into the water.  With a mermaid splash, and a boost to showoff her heart shaped behind, she dove deep into the water only to glide forward like a dolphin. With a final kick she bowed upward, and planted herself perfectly into the seat next to her husband. 

“Exquisite, Baby. Perfectly presented.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s